i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
