even my farts smell like vagina
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
did i walk over a car last night?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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