I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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