you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
