There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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