Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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