I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
