That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
