i just wanna soil my oats bro
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
