just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish you could order shots online.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
