ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
