were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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