based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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