Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
