yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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