You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
