We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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