I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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