I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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