I like my sex mixed with concussions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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