who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
