I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
