she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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