Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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