I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
