I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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