i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
