you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
