She went from zero to smokin in five shots
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
