hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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