Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
