It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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