You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
