just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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