I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
