i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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