I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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