With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
