Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
