I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
