Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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