I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mom said you looked used
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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