So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
