Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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