i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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