i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
