theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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