That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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