Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
