I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
