Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
