I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
