somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
