His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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