You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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